The new me.

It has been awhile sense I have been on here. A lot of things have changed in my life.

•  I ended up leaving Weber state for the ATC. I am so blessed to have God help me make that decision.
• I have finally eaten at Maddox for the first time in my life. I loved it. When I make it to see heavenly father again... there will be Maddox.
• I am no longer depressed at all. I am so grateful for doctors to help me with that.
• I no longer blame people for the choices I have made. ( Sorry about that Brody and my family.)
• I am now helping my cousin plan her wedding and I am also a bridesmaid.
• I still work at the best place ever... Jamie's preschool. I truly love my job.
• I just feel so much calmer and very happy with my life.

I am so grateful for everyone who has been on my side. I really feel like an adult now. I am more driven and in a much better place. I thank God everyday for all the blessing and promises he has made me for my life. I couldn't ask for anything better.

I really am apart of the right family.

The crazy year

Well,
This year has been insane. I had my heart stomped on but some how found forgiveness. I finally have my temple recommend. School is going by without a hitch. I found happiness again without any guys. I became closer to my amazing mom. I lost some friends but somehow I am still alive. haha I gained my self worth and self esteem in check. I can honestly say, even though it has been quiet a difficult year emotionally, I survived... no, more than survived. I conquered and fought to make myself truely happy. I am just so happy being just me. And even though I am single, I am now a surviver and I am so happy where my life is going and where I am right now. My heavenly father really does have a plan for me and I am looking forward to living it. :)
Now my new years resolution:
1. actually go on a date
2. excersize five times a week for at least an hour.
3. End thearapy and anti depressents by my birthday ( May 30)
4. Go to church evey week (unless I am brutally sick. )
5. Last but not least, stay being happy and grow spiritually and mentally. :)

Build a bear

I took brennen to build a bear last night because he has never gone but he loves build a bear. So we get there and he picked out his really cute blue build a bear. Being two I was just waiting for him to go crazy around the store. He didn't. He stayed right by me and waited patiently for his turn to stuff it. when he got his bear stuffed, he washed it and brushed it with a huge smile on his face. Brennen then, picked out the cutest outfit for his build a bear. He picked out a car shirt and pants. He was literally jumping up and down with excitement. He had such a fun time and I am so grateful I have him in my life. He is the most selfless two year old I know and he has the best smile ever. I love you bremen. I hope when I have kids my two year olds we be loving and patient just like you.

I have had an amazing couple of days. I went to the temple to do baptisms for the dead last night with my singles ward. I loved it so much. I haven't been to the temple since I was fifteen. I felt so blessed to have the opportunity to go yesterday. I truly love the gospel and what it does for me. I am so blessed to have a temple so close to where I live that I can go anytime I want. I made a new goal for myself, to go to the temple at least once a month. Maybe more....

 

My little brother, Brennen, loves lights. When we are driving around and he sees any different lights on houses he says "pretty house." As a result, I had to take him to see temple square during Christmas time. We went tonight. I couldn't believe the look on his eyes when he saw the temple all light up and all the sculptures of Christ birth. He had to see "Baby Jesus" at least three times and just stare. I can't believe the spirit in such a small boy. He really taught me a lot tonight by his sheer amazingness of "Baby Jesus." I love him so much and I am so grateful I have him a a brother.

Complaining ( beware) lol

I just don't understand why I am not getting out on dates. I consider myself strong in the gospel, smart, and pretty. I really don't want to change anything about me. But I wish (since I haven't been out on a date in over a year now) that I could be asked out just once. Maybe I could take another institute class next semester will do the trick. But I am feeling kind of hopeless. I lost the perfect guy from my old thought process. I just wish guys would give me a chance. I just want to have a little fun in my life and I would love to get married if there is that special guy out there for me. It has just doubted myself a little bit on the things I know. It is just hard when people your age or even younger are either getting married or having a baby and I am not even out of my house yet. I want an husband and kids just so bad and I don't know if it is ever going to happen for me. :'(

Cinderella

A couple of days ago I went to see Cinderella the play with my little sister Mckenna and her girl scout troop. It was actually really fun. Though it was an amature play, the actors were awsome. The play was more like a musical though. There was lots of singing. But it was still really good.
I also registered for part of my classes for next semester. Because of all the crap that is going on in my life, I decided to take English instead of math. I also took a zoology class. I need to go get things fixed up at the college for next semester. I can't wait to get my classes in order and just finish my degree. I am so sick of school. I just want to teach finally.

Horray for cleaning!!!!!

so, this past week we have been deep cleaning our whole house. We repainted our bathroom (not the bright orange I wanted) but it looks so much better than that awful wallpaper. I cleaned up the storage room that is in between Sydnee and my rooms and I also bleached tile floor downstairs which would be the laundry room and the storage room. However, I burned myself and have this awful rash looking thing all over the place. I think they might be stress hives. I have them often. I also got a calling this week and my young single adults ward which is a visiting teaching coordinator. I am really excited about it. I took Addysen to build-a-bear for her birthday. She was so excited. We took the frontrunner and everything. I can't believe she is six now. It is funny, Addysen's birthday was one of the last birthday's Brody got to be at last year. Brody has almost been a missionary for a whole year now. I am so proud of him and the strength he has for doing everything and having the will power to do what he does. I am the luckiest person ever. I also need to go up to the school and figure out what happened to my human development grade. According to my records I got a D in that class and since I got an A on my final, it should be an A. I am really confused about that. Anyways, I get the whole week off of work next week because my family is doing the anual going to park city and other places I am not entirely sure what we are doing. I am so excited. I really, really need a break from everything and I am hoping this will help.